I could learn to understand Swahili by myself,
I could even teach it to my good dog Ralph,
I could learn to read every book on the shelf,
I could learn to tell a fortune like the Oracle of Delphi.
I could learn to tell every flower by its color,
I could learn to swim as fast as Johnny Weissmuller,
but I never could learn to live without you, boy,
Don’t you ever leave me,
I sure dig sex.
Now, you could get love from your papa or your mama,
You get warm from a Turkish or a sauna,
You could get hot from tortillas or lasagne,
But you get all three when you neck with me.
Don’t you know it really gets me in the solar plexus
when I hear about the differences there are between the sexes.
Peanut butter sandwiches are pretty neat.
But when you get right to it, it can’t compete
with good ol’ s-double e- double x,
Its camper than Batman, bigger than Texas.
You’re concave and I’m convex.
Welcome to the world of sex.
Do I love you?
Is the Pope Catholic?
Do I want you?
Is a rubber band elastic?
Do I need you?
Is the atom bomb drastic?
Lets be heterosexually entwined.
We fit like a tailored suit dear.
I need you more than I need root beer.
Green giant peas need a big green pod,
I spend a lot of time needing your bod.
Walking around through fields of clover,
Can’t we lie down and talk things over?
You never know whats coming off next
In the wonderful world of sex.